Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
