he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
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