Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
