Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
