i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
