You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
