I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
