she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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