You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
