i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
