I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
