plz talk dirty to me
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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