so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
