exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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