First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
