it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
