my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
