I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
