I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
