Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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