I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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