So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
