Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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