I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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