# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
