I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
