got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
