WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
