why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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