I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
