JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
