Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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