he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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