his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
