the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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