Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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