I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
