but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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