ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
