you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
