16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
