You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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