I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
