I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Where did you get a picture of my penis
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
