Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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