Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
