thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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