Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
and she was petting her beer can
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
