Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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