is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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